spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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