you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
And then he peed in my hair
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