is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
