I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
