I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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