Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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