Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
