she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
