He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We have started to decorate penises.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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