I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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