one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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