This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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