On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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