It's like God shit irony all over that family
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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