my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
