bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
