I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well you can't waste a boner
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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