well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
