summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
