At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
