goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
