Whod you bang
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
