Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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