I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
