I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
