it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
