And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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