I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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