just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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