If that was your dad, he is hot
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
