I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
