i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
