i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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