rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
