allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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