Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
