I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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