sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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