just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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