oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
