he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's like iHOP with fire
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize