If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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