if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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