Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She needs sedatives and a leash
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
