Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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