Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
