So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
