it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
