I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
