he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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