i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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