hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
