Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
