You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
