Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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