Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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