fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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