I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
