No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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