How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
