Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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