Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
