you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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