but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
A+ Viking dick
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