Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
